Delayed Gratification: Where's My (Coke) Reward?

© David Hartman

     Monday was a big day for me. Sorta.

     It's the day I surpassed 4,000 points in my My Coke Rewards account. As I type, I'm at 4,177 points, with probably another 150 points waiting to be deposited in the account in the coming weeks.

     I haven't been saving points for anything specific, though I've been hoping that Coke will partner with Best Buy again so I can convert points into a Best Buy gift card. For 4,000 points, I'd get enough Best Buy cash to take a nice chunk out of my next cell phone upgrade.

     That's probably what I'll hold out for, until I get tired of  holding out, or until I really need a phone upgrade regardless. But I checked the Coke Rewards catalog today to see if there was anything to tempt me to cash in now. Here are some examples of what I found:

     I can have a $50 Nike gift card for 2,000 points, so I assume I could get $100 worth of Nike for 4K points. The only trouble with that is it's been a long, long time since I've dropped a Franklin on shoes. It'll be a longer time before I do it again. So it doesn't strike me as a good use of points.

     Also in that 2,000-point category are the lovely white Ultra Spa Terry Velour Robes. One-size-fits-all and unisex. In other words, cheap. Probably a thread count of about 30. Again, for 4,000 points I could get his-and-hers matching robes. Except there ain't no her, and if I wore a bathrobe, I'd never admit it publicly. Ever. So what's the point in that?

     I've taken a hard look at the six-piece stoneware nesting mixing bowl set (2,000 points) and the seven-piece stainless steel utensil set (1,750 points). I don't really know stoneware. I do know Pyrex. If they were Pyrex bowls, I'd probably cash in. But if they were Pyrex, I wouldn't get six of them for 2,000 points.

     Then there's the one free rental day of a midsize car from Avis for the whopping sum of 2,000 points. If only I didn't work for Hertz....

     For 3,300 points, I could get three sets of AMC Silver Experience movie tickets at 1,100 each. Each set includes two large drinks and a large popcorn, so each is worth about $25 in junk food alone. But I don't go to the movies. I've seen maybe three in the last five years. I don't go unless politeness requires. 

     Reminds me of one of the last movies I did see at the theatre. The Notebook. Mom and dad wanted to go see it, but dad didn't want to drive. So I was designated driver, which meant they bought my movie ticket. Things were going just swell until we got to the part where the kids were in the old house alone and young Allie started taking off her clothes. My 70-something mother, who talks too loud because she can't hear, turned to my dad and said in her outside voice: "What are they doing? What is this movie rated?" The first question was rhetorical. It was obvious what they were doing. Everyone heard. Everybody snickered. I got up and went to get a Coke. Best $10 I ever spent on a watered-down Coke. When I came back, I sat elsewhere.

     Mom liked the movie, by the way. When it's on TV, she watches it again -- with the volume real loud because she can't hear. Whenever it gets to the juicy parts, I stop what I'm doing and either come into the room or just walk past, so she's aware of my presence. Too embarrassed to watch it in front of me, she always changes the channel until I leave. I loiter until I'm pretty sure the good parts are over.

     Anyway.

     Are there any good, beefy offers in this catalog at all? Well, 500 points could get me a $20 gift card from Omaha Steaks. Now we're talking! Quick math check: 4,000 divided by 500 is eight. Eight times 20 is 160. A hundred and sixty bucks worth of meat! At Wal-Mart, that's not a bad deal. At Swadley's it would be an awesome deal. At Omaha Steaks, that's about five pounds of 80/20 and a couple of chicken legs, excluding shipping. Or maybe two 12-ounce ribeyes. That's hard to swallow, even with the hundreds of Cokes I've chugged in the last year to get them for free.

     Maybe I expect too much. I should just take 10 years of Martha Stewart magazines at 400 points a year and call it a day. Or I could get 4,000 Cristian and Jacky "Laughing Out Loud" wallpapers at zero points each and still have all my points left over for all this other great stuff. That's enough wallpapers to give one to all my blog followers. Okay, as of today, that's enough to give 4,000 to all my blog followers.

    I don't know who these people are -- Cristian and Jacky -- but they look happy in the wallpaper, don't they? They're laughing. Out loud, no less. Probably just scored a rent one, get one free deal from Blockbuster for 50 MCR points and they're deciding what to watch.

     And that's when Cristian turns to Jacky and says "remember that time we saw The Notebook in Oklahoma City and that lady said....?"