Bryant Bashing Continues: Even Deion Disses Dez

© David Hartman

     Charlie Sheen has a new best friend. His name is Dez Bryant. Bryant is proving to be Sheen's equal at drawing negative attention to himself, giving the media someone new to pick on for awhile.
     Last week, Bryant got himself banned from a Texas mall and was issued a citation after he was with a group of thugs who refused to pull up their pants in the upscale shopping center. Dez sez he wasn't cited for a clothing violation, but for being verbally abusive and profane to the security officer who asked the group to leave and escorted them from the mall. I guess Barney Fife didn't realize he was dealing with Dez Bryant, an NFL player who can do as he pleases because he's an NFL player.
     Since then, Dez, mall management and Barney have all had a big group hug, and Bryant is now allowed to go back in the mall after all. Of course he can. He's an NFL player. He can do as he pleases. Until that changes, nothing will in that cesspool of a sport.
     But now he might have a hard time getting any of the stores to sell him anything without paying with cash. This week reports surfaced that Dez faces not one, but two civil suits seeking over half a million dollars from Bryant for jewelry and sporting event tickets he hasn't paid for.
     In one instance the NFL rookie ordered $267K in custom jewelry like the hideous piece pictured, and so far has only paid about $21,000 for it. Attempts to collect the outstanding amount have been unsuccessful. Another suit alleges Bryant owes $293K for bling and more than $12,300 for tickets to sporting events  -- all of the stuff charged on credit before he was even drafted by the Dallas Cowboys.
    I know some jewelers who are hoping the NFL and its players get things worked out in time to have a season next year so Bryant has some money to pay up. Half a mil is a nice chunk of that $8 million signing bonus he got from the Cowboys.

Coming soon to a pawn shop
near you.

     Some folks wonder why a jeweler would let Bryant take possession of something that expensive without paying for it first. But it's not all that uncommon among people who are worth a lot of money. I hear story after story of people winning the lottery and walking into a car dealership with their winning ticket before they've even claimed the prize, and driving away in the vehicle of choice without paying a dime up front.
     I guess those businesses know you're going to be good for the debt eventually. Except for when you're not.
     It's gotten so bad for Dez that he's even being criticized by Deion Sanders, a prince of a guy whose picture Deion would have us believe is in Webster's Dictionary next to the phrase "class act." The same "Prime Time" who once assaulted two fans after a minor-league baseball game, and on another occasion failed to run out an infield popup in the major leagues after using his bat to draw a dollar sign in the batters box dirt.
     Hard to decide which is worse: embarrassing your team and league for the right to show your underwear, getting sued for not paying for your jewelry or being dissed by Deion.
     At least Dez can take heart in knowing that trouble don't last always. It's been a good two weeks since Lindsay Lohan has done something really stupid, so she's overdue. Then the media will forget all about him.

...

     You may have noticed a new dinner music voice on Spam On Wry. That's Amy Patterson-Hazzard of Edmond, OK. We go way back. Her dad was my major prof at OC, and I'd walk 10 miles to eat her mom's brisket.
     To keep things fresh, rather than playing the same song for a week, I'll play a different song with each new post, alternating between Roger and Amy. If you have any other artists in mind for the Spam rotation, drop me a suggestion. The artist would have to grant permission for the tracks to be played. Don't need ASCAP spitting in my Spam.
     Other subtle tweaks continue with Spam on Wry as well, with the new visitor counter. The site was created quickly to get the process going. The look will continue to evolve, I suspect. I'm even toying with the idea of a Spam on Wry podcast for the handful of people who might want to listen to Spam on the go. Except I'm not a big fan of my voice, so that's a hard mental hurdle to leap.